Ipanema rules: Beach Etiquette

Ipanema is a public beach, with free access like all beaches in Brazil. If you're coming from a country where everything's regulated, expect to be spoiled. To start off, you don't even have get off your toosh to have your wish granted. Feeling hungry? Beach vendors offer ice-cream, cookies (don't miss the traditional Biscoitos Globo), corn-on-the-cob, melted cheese on a stick, shrimp on a stick, assorted homemade sandwiches, fresh-sliced pineapple... Thirsty? Mineral water, iced tea, diet and regular sodas, frozen fruit juice, chilled coconut milk, and yes, ice-cold beer, and delicious fresh-squeezed caipirinhas. You can rent your beach chairs and umbrellas. Need to accessorize? Hats, colorful beach throws, sunglasses, jewelry, even bikinis are for sale.

As there are a lot of misconceptions, here are some suggestions if you want to mingle. The first is that people do not walk around the city in their bikinis and Speedos, let alone in a thong! OK, it's a free world, you can do whatever you want, but the idea here is to let you in on how locals do it...

Girls on their way to or back from the beach usually wear shorts, a mini-skirt or a beach throw wrapped around the waist, most times a T-shirt or tank top, and flip-flops (Havaianas or other). They always carry a tote bag or backpack. In it you will find everything from sunglasses to hair sunscreen for, pocket mirror, lipsaver... They tend to set up camp with their friends, so they don't really need to travel light. Don't worry about the kind of bikini you will be bringing back from home. Doing a bikini boutique (or many) is a must for any self-respecting female visitor to Rio. You will find an assortment of styles, from almost naked to conservative, including one-pieces.

Boys go a little different. The T-shirt is only needed if you're coming to the beach by bus, otherwise shirts-off is the rule. To meet all your friends and flirt with the girls you have to cover a lot of ground. The idea is to travel as light as possible, so no tote-bag here. Boys are more likely to bring along a set of frescobol rackets, a volley or soccer ball, a bodyboard or surfboard. Break the backpack rule as you will bring along your camera, and you want to keep it away from the sand.

On the way to and back from the beach, Ipanema boys wear surfers' trunks. In the pocket there's just enough money for a soda or two, and maybe a bottle of sunscreen (they could always borrow from the girls, you know). Whenever they stop it's time to peel off those trunks, and stand in their Speedos. Brazilian girls and boys love a tan line, and you have to please the crowds. If you really want to belong, your Speedos should be as wide as regular CK briefs, at least 4 inches or so. Buy some at the local shops, like Blue Man. You may ask a group of girls to watch your shorts or backpack while you go for a swim, if you're looking for an ice-breaker.

Now three things you won't do if you're beach-smart. The first one is taking more sun that you're able to. Condition your skin by going to a tanning salon, wear a potent sunscreen, keep track of how long you stay at the beach, rent a beach umbrella, wear a sun hat. The red lobster look is not attractive, and it could actually spoil your vacation. The second is that taking off your watch to avoid a tan line, and leaving it laying on the sand together with your money while you doze off is a very stupid thing to do. The least that could happen is their accidentally being buried in the sand. The third is that wearing long sleeves, street clothes and dress shoes at the beach make you look really funny.

Enjoy the beach!

posted by nscafuro @ 7:44 PM